Guess what? Halloween is approaching us, and you know what that means – COSTUMES!
As a gay person, I love being way too extra on Halloween. It’s the one day of the week where you get to be extra-gay and have no one judge you for it, because it’s Halloween, duh!
Just like they say in Mean Girls, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.”
Personally, I’m not very crafty, so I’ve never made my own costume. I’m always that person that spends way too much money on their costumes and they don’t even end up looking that expensive.
But, that’s besides the point, right? At least you show up in SOMETHING. And bonus points if you make it obvious that you’re gay.
So, I’ve compiled a list of the gayest costumes you can wear this Halloween (at home! no parties this year boys!)
But be warned, most of these are “sexy” costumes, so if you don’t like seeing shirtless men, scroll away. But who doesn’t want to see some sexy shirtless men? I mean come on.
Maybe if priests dressed like this, then gay people would actually go to church! I know I would.
If all gladiators dressed like this back then, then I’ll GLADLY time travel back to see them. Who’s with me?
Suddenly going to jail doesn’t seem so bad if this is the uniform, right? You only have to pay $19.99 + tax and shipping to look like, well, this.
Adult Teal Unicorn Yumio Costume
This unicorn costume can be used not just for your costume, but it’s perfect for lounging around as well! Since this one is in women’s sizing, make sure you don’t order a size too small. I usually pay attention to the waist sizing and it usually works out pretty well for me!
Sexy Firefighter Costume for Men
Wouldn’t firefighters be that much more great if they showed up to your house like this? Granted, it’s probably not very safe to rescue someone from a burning house when you’re half naked, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.
But of course, not all of us have the money to splurge on costumes. If you’re a crafty gay and you like to use what you have at home, you could do a gay Flinstones costume, or the classic Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy duo. Or, if you’re feeling really last-minute and are on a budget, throw on a white dress shirt and some socks and recreate the iconic “Risky Business” scene with young and DREAMY Tom Cruise.
Basically, you could literally do anything for Halloween and make it work. This isn’t Drag Race, mmkay? You don’t gotta spend $20 or more on your costume to still be fabulous and extremely gay.
Happy (almost) Halloween! Make sure you’re staying safe, wearing a mask, and practicing social distancing. Don’t go to any parties this year. Seriously.
See you next week!
THE GAY BIBLE 