Why You Should Be Putting Your Pronouns In Your Bio

If you’re on social media, or don’t live under a rock, you’ve probably seen people include their pronouns in their bio — whether it be on Instagram, Twitter, all the fun stuff.

If you don’t know what pronouns are, allow me to break them down for you:

If you’re a grammar nerd like myself, technically speaking, a pronoun is a word that can function by itself as a noun phrase and refers either to yourself in discourse (e.g., I, you) or someone/something mentioned (e.g., she, it, this).

Most commonly, you’ll likely stumble upon one of these three pronouns when you visit someone’s social media profile:

• She/her/hers — this means you refer to this person as she, her, or hers in discourse.
• He/him/his — this means you refer to this person as he, him, or his in discourse.
• They/them/theirs — this means you refer to this person as they, them, or theirs in discourse.

You will also see some people go by multiple pronouns, so it may look something like:

• He/they — this means you may refer to this person as he, him, his, or they, them, theirs.
• She/they — this means you may refer to this person as she, her, hers, or they, them, theirs.

Most commonly, you’ll see those who identify as non-binary use they/them or he/they or she/they pronouns. Non-binary is a term for people who aren’t comfortable being referred to as ‘man’ or ‘woman.’

Now back to the discussion at hand: most people tend to think that, if they’re cisgender, meaning they identify with the sex assigned to them at birth, why should they even disclose their pronouns if it’s “easy to tell what their gender is.”

Well, the answer is simple, yet not. The fact of the matter is, there’s no easy way to tell what someone’s gender may be or how they may identify. You don’t “look” transgender, and you don’t “look” non-binary. Assuming one’s gender simply based off appearance is offensive and perpetuates harmful stereotypes and transphobic rhetoric.

Disclosing your pronouns, whether it be in an email signature or your Instagram bio, helps normalise discussions about gender, especially for the trans and non-binary communities.

Because members of the non-binary and trans communities are often misgendered, it’s important for them to disclose their pronouns so they feel safe participating in discourse.

But doing this doesn’t and shouldn’t stop with the trans and non-binary communities.

Pronouns are an important move towards inclusivity: they allow everyone to feel safe in expressing themselves, it helps you avoid getting someone’s gender wrong, and it reduces the burden on our trans and non-binary friends so they don’t have to continuously explain their identity.

If you consider yourself an ally to the LGBTQIA* community, using your pronouns is a small move to you, but a big one that means the world to us. And when you do so, not only are you encouraging your cisgender friends to the same, but it’s a way to show members of the LGBTQIA* community that you care about their identity. It’s a badge of pride.

We as the LGBTQIA* community can only do so much when it comes to normalizing things like pronouns. And whether you’re a part of the community or not, I encourage you to put your pronouns wherever possible. With your help, we bridge the gap and open the conversation to pronouns and trans rights.

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 13 Episode 2: A Recap

DISCLAIMER: This post discusses potential spoilers for RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 13, Episode 2. Unless you want to know what happens, don’t continue reading. I warned ya, sis!

OPENING

This week on RuPaul’s Drag Race, we continue from the cliffhanger in the premiere, where the queens faced off in six rounds of lip syncs.

In case you need a reminder, the queens who won their lip sync were Kandy Muse, LaLa Ri, Symone, Gottmik, Olivia Lux, and Tina Burner. The queens who lost were Joey Jay, Denali Foxx, Tamisha Iman, Utica Queen, Rosé, Kahmora Hall, and Elliott with two Ts.

The “eliminated” queens remain in the Porkchop Loading Dock, where we learn that they must vote one of them out — WHAT?

We’ve never seen someone be voted out on a regular RuPaul’s Drag Race season, and let’s just say this was GAG WORTHY. After a tie break between Joey Jay and Elliott, Elliott sashays away.

BUT WAIT.

As the episode starts, the queens (as boys now) come into the werk room and RuPaul lets them know that he’s bringing back a queen who he believes “didn’t get a fair shot.”

And guess who walked through those doors?

ELLIOTT.

Yup, Elliott may have been “voted out,” but she didn’t actually sashay away!

Needless to say, the queens who won their lip syncs didn’t take well to this and assumed Elliott was there to spy on them. Because of this, Elliott wasn’t afraid to throw some shade to Kandy Muse, which made the queens even more suspicious.

Not a good move on Elliott’s part if you ask me.

MINI CHALLENGE

The first mini challenge of the season is a runway challenge where the queens must serve two looks: “Daytime Drama, Mama!” and “Nighttime Is The RIGHT Time!”

In Daytime Drama Mama, Gottmik wore a rainbow mini dress, Kandy worked a glamorous red wrap dress, LaLa Ri went with a simple southern style curtain dress that got caught in her heel, Olivia Lux was midcentury in a simple purple feathered dress, Symone presented a bare chest in a vibrant (and caped) business suit, Tina Burner glammed it up in a sequined red babydoll look, and Elliott capped it off in a long red dress and matching beret.

In Nighttime Is The RIGHT Time, Gottmik switched into a sexy black velvet dress with a pasty on one nipple, Kandy returned in red with a latex bodysuit and messy makeup, LaLa Ri came out in a dominatrix black and caged chest look, Olivia had a shiny burgundy dress and what she said is a “rare brunette wig,” Symone put on a mustard and orange wrap dress, Tina also came in latex in more red (and yellow and orange), and Elliott looked like a dark circus master with a whip and feathers.

MAXI CHALLENGE

For the first maxi challenge of the season, the queens must record and perform their own verse in a girl group to RuPaul’s new song, “Condragulations.”

I don’t know about you, but I love these kind of maxi challenges. I love being able to see what kind of verses the queens come up with — and if you ask me, it’s a big way to tell who knows their stuff, and who doesn’t.

The queens are tasked with also choreographing their own dance along with these verses – and when this happens, it’s usually a hit or miss.

No one wanted to step up to the plate and choreograph the dance, which was a little awkward, even though Elliott, who is a trained dancer, refused to do it. Yet later we see Elliott step in and start to direct the dance, which further ostracized her from the rest of the girls after being quiet for so long.. yikes.

The rehearsal had some tension due to Gottmik, as a transgender male, facing some gender dysmorphia and not being able to pick up the choreography.

However, she didn’t say anything about it until the next day to Olivia Lux in the werk room, who agreed that during rehearsal wasn’t the time to talk about it. She was so sweet and supportive of her – can you say Olivia Lux for Miss Congeniality?

As the queens get ready for their performance in the werk room, Elliott is still the center of attention, and the queens want to know what happened and why she was brought back.

Elliott reveals to them that all the losing queens are waiting in the Porkchop Loading Dock and that she was unanimously voted out. The queens are gagged, and they definitely feel a little better now knowing Elliott isn’t a double agent.

On the main stage, RuPaul is joined by judges Michelle Visage and Ross Matthews, and this week’s extra-special guest judge Jamal Sims (who typically choreographs for the queens).

The singing and raps? Not bad. The dancing? Well, it’s pretty half-assed to say the least. If we compare this performance to “I’m That Bitch” from last season, this one definitely lacked. Elliott and Symone really stood out for me.

RUNWAY

The runway theme this week is “Lamé, You Stay.” Gottmik was inspired by a sea dragon in tendrils of fabric, Kandy went pinup in lingerie, LaLa was wrapped in gold from head to toe, Olivia looked elegant in white and mint green, Symone took on a boxing theme in shorts and a robe, Tina finally dropped the red fabric for an all silver Tin Man fantasy, and Elliott had an Ariel wig and a sea green and blue dress.

CLOSING

Ross told Gottmik that her mini challenge looks earlier in the week were fun and together with the main stage look showed versatility, but Jamal and Michelle clocked her for overthinking the choreography, which “made her performance a letdown.”

Michelle liked Kandy’s look on the main stage, but asked her to explain her thought process behind the look (agreed). Kandy said it was a “medieval mother of the hookers.” LaLa got high marks for her gold look on the stage, and was told her confidence in the performance really shined through.

Ross called Olivia a joy to watch in the performance, and they all loved the looks that she presented in all the challenges. Symone also won over the judges in every moment and Michelle called her day look “hot,” while Ross and Ru were already saying she had star quality.

Michelle was happy to see that Tina was finally not wearing red, orange and yellow (yikes). Ross and Jamal really enjoyed her performance, but Michelle advised her to be more aware of performing for television and not like they would in a bar.

Michelle said Elliott’s night look was fantastic, and Jamal said that Elliott looked like she was waiting to show her stuff throughout the performance. Ross backed that up by saying that she proved she deserved to stay.

Olivia and Symone are the top two queens of the week (instead of the usual sole winner). The rest of the queens are safe, meaning this week, there are no “tops” or “bottoms,” aka no one is going home.

Olivia and Symone lip sync to Dua Lipa’s “Break My Heart” to be the sole winner this week, along with a $5,000 cash tip. Both queens used their garments to their advantage and delivered really strong performances. Symone’s use of her long braids was brilliant.

Symone is declared the first winner of the season, and I think this immediately sets her apart as a frontrunner.

NEXT WEEK: The queens in the Porkchop Loading Dock record and perform their own song and dance to another RuPaul song to get the chance at a second impression on the judges.

That’s it for this week! Let me know in the comments – what did you think of this week’s episode? What are your predictions for next week? Do you think anyone’s gonna go home?

Ta-ta for now!

x

My Top 3 Favourite RuPaul’s Drag Race Queens

Because, why not?

If you aren’t watching RuPaul’s Drag Race, I have two things to say to you: 1) what’s wrong with you? and 2) you’re really missing out.

Not to brag or anything, but I have seen any and every season, episode, or spin-off version of RuPaul’s Drag Race. From the regular show, to All Stars, to the U.K. version, even the Canadian version!

Ask me and I’ve probably seen it.

So, over the years of my obsessiveness over the show, I have seen my fair share of queens come and go, and naturally, as most gay men do, I OBVIOUSLY have my favourites and my not-so favourites.

So, today, I’ll be talking about my top 3 favourite queens from the franchise, and what about them makes them my favourite.

Let’s get into it!

Alyssa Edwards

Alyssa Edwards is probably one of my all-time favourite queens from RuPaul’s Drag Race. From her iconic lip sync moments, to her tongue pop, and her gigantic wigs, she is everything most drag queens aspire to be, and is literally known as a “walking meme factory.”

Even though Alyssa never won Drag Race or All Stars (which she was EXTREMELY robbed on), she’s made a huge name for herself and is more famous than some of the actual winners. She’s proof that you don’t have to win Drag Race to be well-known, because if you have some of the best lines, you’re sure to be a fan favourite.

Some of my favourite lines from Alyssa’s time on Drag Race include:

• “Get a grip, get a life, and get over it.”
• “I don’t get cute, I get drop-dead gorgeous.”
• “Why the hell you squirpping like a chirrping, like a bird?”
• “Baby, nothing was notarized. No contracts are signed. My attorney was not present. That was hogwash.”
• “Reading you is like reading a Walt Disney book, it’s simply too easy.”
• “BACK ROLLS?”

Even if you don’t know who Alyssa Edwards is, I’m sure some of those lines made you smile or giggle.

P.S. I ended up meeting Alyssa in May of 2019 and I almost pooped myself. She is SO beautiful in person (and extremely tall).

Shangela

One word: Halleloo!

Shangela is another one of my all-time favourites. She was on Drag Race three times, and didn’t win a single time. But did that change a thing? Absolutely not, because Shangela has taken the world on by STORM.

Not only did Shangela serve look after look on the runway, she’s best known for her infamous death drops and amazing lip-syncing skills.

Some may also know her from when she got upset with Mimi Imfurst for saying she probably got all of her looks paid for by a sugar daddy.

If you’re interested, you can watch that brawl (it’s 20 seconds) go down here.

She’s also toured 184 cities, made an appearance in A Star is Born, hosted the GLAAD awards as Beyoncé (AND RECEIVED A STANDING OVATION FROM BEYONCÉ), collaborated with Ariana Grande on her song “NASA,” attended the Oscars, and has a few iconic songs out there. To name a few, there’s “Call me LaQuifa,” “Werqin’ Girl,” and “Sugar Daddy.”

She is also currently starring on the T.V. show We’re Here, where Shangela, and two other Drag Race queens, visit small conservative towns all over the U.S. and host a drag show there.

It’s pretty awesome, and a good tear-jerker.

All-in-all, Shangela has made a name for herself, and rightfully so.

Aquaria

Aquaria is the winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 10 (they are currently filming for season 13), and she is the first generation Z winner of the franchise. But don’t her age fool you – Aquaria is a force to be reckoned with.

Aquaria made a name for herself in the New York nightlife because of her amazing musicality and flexibility, but came up under the wings of legends Susanne Bartsch and Amanda Lepore.

But she’s mainly known for her iconic runway looks and her unique take on fashion trends, which landed her a spot at the Met Gala, where she appeared alongside fellow Drag Race winner from season 7, Violet Chachki.

Aquaria at the Met Gala. Photo by Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock

She’s also appeared on Vogue Italia, was the face of the M.A.C Viva Glam campaign, and also Jeremy Scott’s Moschino x H&M collaboration. 

Aquaria is still young and has a lot to show, and I can’t wait to see what she does next.

As you can tell, all three of these queens are pretty iconic in their own way, and it was

My Top 5 Body Products for Gay Men

As gay men, we’re pretty well known for caring for our hair, body and face – like, a lot. BTW, if you got that hair, body, face reference, I love you. But that’s beside the point here. According to Othervox, which specialises in digital advertising across the world’s most popular LGBTQ channels, gay men spend 32 per cent more on toiletries and grooming products than the average consumer (non-LGBTQ). 

Crazy, right? It might seem crazy to you if you aren’t a gay man, but if you are a gay man, it probably seems reasonable and fair. I don’t know about any of you, but I can confidently say as a gay man I do spend more than I would like to admit on toiletries. 

Like, seriously. You probably don’t want to see my bank statements. 

Nonetheless, over my many, many years of testing various body products (which include a few allergic reactions – ouch!) I’ve acquired a list of products I absolutely adore and love to use on my body to make sure I’m soft and supple. 

Before you continue reading, please remember these are the products that work for me. This list should not be taken as professional advice, and what works for me may not work for you. 

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s start this list! 

1. NIVEA Men Sensitive Skin Shaving Cream

If you’re like me and have sensitive skin and are prone to the WORST razor bumps, this is the bad boy for you. This shaving cream features chamomile to soothe dry skin and contains no drying alcohol. This one does contain fragrance, but since you don’t leave shaving cream on your skin for very long, it shouldn’t be an issue for you because it’s never been one for me. 

2. Bulldog Bamboo Razor

This razor (and brand) have been my favourite for about three years now. The bamboo razor is my favourite product for the Bulldog brand because it provides such a smooth shave and does not tug on my hair or skin. I love it! 

3. Spin for Perfect Skin – Complete Face & Body Cleansing System

I love this brush set because it comes with various attachments! I use the body attachment the most and it’s been so great for keeping my skin smooth and bump-free. Plus, it’s on sale right for $45.99 instead of $109.99! 

4. Frank Body Original Coffee Scrub

This coffee scrub from Frank Body not only smells like the best cup of coffee ever, it makes your skin SO soft. It works on breakouts, scars, cellulite and stretch marks with a blend of coffee, vitamin E, and antioxidant-rich oils. Sounds amazing, right? I love it and I know you will too. 

5. Have you seen my underwear? Booty oil 

Sorry, not sorry for all the booty products. Trust me – this one’s worth it. This booty oil is my absolute fav for after a shower. It’s infused with arabica coffee bean and watermelon oil to make your booty smooth AND smell nice! Anese is one of my favourite body-care brands aside from Frank Body. 

Those are just a few of my favourite body products that keep me smooth, soft, and glowing! If you want to see a part two of even more products, I’d be happy to do so.

Let me know in the comments: do you also splurge on toiletries/grooming products? 

Thanks for reading, see you next week! 

You Need These 5 Halloween Costumes For 2020

Guess what? Halloween is approaching us, and you know what that means – COSTUMES!

As a gay person, I love being way too extra on Halloween. It’s the one day of the week where you get to be extra-gay and have no one judge you for it, because it’s Halloween, duh!

Just like they say in Mean Girls, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.”

Personally, I’m not very crafty, so I’ve never made my own costume. I’m always that person that spends way too much money on their costumes and they don’t even end up looking that expensive.

But, that’s besides the point, right? At least you show up in SOMETHING. And bonus points if you make it obvious that you’re gay.

So, I’ve compiled a list of the gayest costumes you can wear this Halloween (at home! no parties this year boys!)

But be warned, most of these are “sexy” costumes, so if you don’t like seeing shirtless men, scroll away. But who doesn’t want to see some sexy shirtless men? I mean come on.

Men’s Sexy Priest Costume

Maybe if priests dressed like this, then gay people would actually go to church! I know I would.

Men’s Sexy Priest Costume / Halloweencostumes.ca

Sexy Gladiator Men’s Costume

If all gladiators dressed like this back then, then I’ll GLADLY time travel back to see them. Who’s with me?

Men’s sexy gladiator costume / Halloweencostumes.ca

Sexy Prisoner Costume

Suddenly going to jail doesn’t seem so bad if this is the uniform, right? You only have to pay $19.99 + tax and shipping to look like, well, this.

Men’s sexy prisoner costume / Halloweencostumes.ca

Adult Teal Unicorn Yumio Costume

This unicorn costume can be used not just for your costume, but it’s perfect for lounging around as well! Since this one is in women’s sizing, make sure you don’t order a size too small. I usually pay attention to the waist sizing and it usually works out pretty well for me!

Adult Teal Unicorn Yumio costume / Halloweencostumes.ca

Sexy Firefighter Costume for Men

Wouldn’t firefighters be that much more great if they showed up to your house like this? Granted, it’s probably not very safe to rescue someone from a burning house when you’re half naked, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.

Men’s sexy firefighter costume / Halloweencostumes.ca

But of course, not all of us have the money to splurge on costumes. If you’re a crafty gay and you like to use what you have at home, you could do a gay Flinstones costume, or the classic Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy duo. Or, if you’re feeling really last-minute and are on a budget, throw on a white dress shirt and some socks and recreate the iconic “Risky Business” scene with young and DREAMY Tom Cruise.

Basically, you could literally do anything for Halloween and make it work. This isn’t Drag Race, mmkay? You don’t gotta spend $20 or more on your costume to still be fabulous and extremely gay.

Happy (almost) Halloween! Make sure you’re staying safe, wearing a mask, and practicing social distancing. Don’t go to any parties this year. Seriously.

See you next week!

What Does Top Or Bottom Mean?

What does being a “top” or a “bottom” mean?

Well – I’m glad you asked! If you aren’t part of the LGBTQ community, you might be confused as to what the terms “top” and “bottom” mean in gay culture. These two terms can be broken down more, which can be even more confusing, so here’s an easy guide on what these terms mean:

Top: Being a “top” in the LGBTQ community means you are the one who will be giving during sex. This also means you will often be the one who would be receiving oral sex.

Bottom: Being a “bottom” in the LGBTQ community means you are the one who will be receiving during sex. This also means you will often be the one who would be giving oral sex.

Seems simple enough, right? Here’s where things can get a little more confusing when we bring in the term “versatile”, or “vers”.

Vers Top: Being a “vers top” means you prefer to give rather than receive during sex, but occasionally you will choose to be the one who receives.

Vers Bottom: Being a “vers bottom” means you prefer to receive rather than give during sex, but occasionally you will choose to be the one gives.

Versatile/Vers: This one seems to be the most common role in the LGBTQ community. Being “versatile/vers” means you can do either position and don’t necessarily have a preference.

And that’s your simple guide on what being a “top” and being a “bottom” means. But remember, if you took anything from last week’s post on “10 Things To Never Say To A Gay Person”, make sure you don’t go around asking any gay person you see if they’re a top or a bottom. If you want to know why you shouldn’t say that, go read that post! Please. Do yourself and myself the favour and embarrassment.

Thanks for reading, see you next week!