Is Instagram Homophobic?

Before you continue reading on, yes, this is me calling out Instagram publicly. I’m not sorry about it.

As some of you may know, I’m running The Gay Bible as part of a year-long project for my public relations class. This semester, part of my assignment is to spend $20 on promotional materials (ads), so I decided to promote a few of my posts on Instagram that would lead people to my blog.

However, doing that wasn’t as easy as you may think.

When I went to promote two of my posts, one talking about pronouns, and other talking about having a gay friend, they were both rejected for “promoting the sale or use of adult products or services.”

If you’ve been reading my blog, you should know I do not promote the sale or use of adult products or services. While I am someone who is sex-positive and encourages owning your own sexual desires, I don’t post about these things on social media because, as we all know, Instagram doesn’t like that.

One of my ads that was denied by Instagram.

As a result of this, I reached out to @Instagram and @InstagramComms on Twitter in hopes of receiving an answer. Silly of me to think they’d respond, right?

Hi @instagramComms @instagram — you’ve rejected three of my promoted posts now for “promoting adult products or services,” but I don’t see how any of these posts are doing that. What exactly am I doing wrong here?

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Originally tweeted by Aldin Sabic (@aldinsabic_) on March 18, 2021.

To no surprise, they didn’t respond.

So, I figured my age range was too low. Even though the minimum age for my target audience was 18-years-old, I bumped it up to 21. I also created an entirely new post that I was sure wouldn’t get denied: I made sure to exclude any talks about sex or adult “services,” and made it super friendly.

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The post looks great, right?

They finally let me promote it. I set my budget to $20 over 5 days, and I woke up to some new website clicks from it. Things were looking great.

That’s when things went south, again.

After only spending a single dollar, Instagram disabled my business account and restricted me from running promotions for “failing to follow our Advertising Policies.” Um, ok?

I don’t exactly know what “policies” I failed to follow, but if Instagram is disabling my account for promoting a safe space for the LGBTQ community, then that sends a different message about their platform.

I sent out another tweet to the Instagram PR team and the Instagram Twitter itself, and alas, no response. And did I mention my appeals for my two previous promoted posts mentioned earlier were rejected? Yup.

I haven’t received a response on Twitter, and considering my appeals were rejected, this only sends me, and other members of the LGBTQ community, a message that Instagram and Facebook do not support our community.

Is this surprising? Not at all. Instagram continuously allows scammers to thrive on the platform, and others to spew hate to various minority communities. They instead prefer to silence those who are trying to improve those communities and open up certain conversations that need to be had.

In short, this is sad, disrespectful, and outright homophobic behaviour. Instagram has slapped me in the face, and this post is a last resort. I refuse to be silenced for trying to do something as simple as promote a blog for a school assignment, and I will not be quiet about this until something is done.

Why You Should Be Putting Your Pronouns In Your Bio

If you’re on social media, or don’t live under a rock, you’ve probably seen people include their pronouns in their bio — whether it be on Instagram, Twitter, all the fun stuff.

If you don’t know what pronouns are, allow me to break them down for you:

If you’re a grammar nerd like myself, technically speaking, a pronoun is a word that can function by itself as a noun phrase and refers either to yourself in discourse (e.g., I, you) or someone/something mentioned (e.g., she, it, this).

Most commonly, you’ll likely stumble upon one of these three pronouns when you visit someone’s social media profile:

• She/her/hers — this means you refer to this person as she, her, or hers in discourse.
• He/him/his — this means you refer to this person as he, him, or his in discourse.
• They/them/theirs — this means you refer to this person as they, them, or theirs in discourse.

You will also see some people go by multiple pronouns, so it may look something like:

• He/they — this means you may refer to this person as he, him, his, or they, them, theirs.
• She/they — this means you may refer to this person as she, her, hers, or they, them, theirs.

Most commonly, you’ll see those who identify as non-binary use they/them or he/they or she/they pronouns. Non-binary is a term for people who aren’t comfortable being referred to as ‘man’ or ‘woman.’

Now back to the discussion at hand: most people tend to think that, if they’re cisgender, meaning they identify with the sex assigned to them at birth, why should they even disclose their pronouns if it’s “easy to tell what their gender is.”

Well, the answer is simple, yet not. The fact of the matter is, there’s no easy way to tell what someone’s gender may be or how they may identify. You don’t “look” transgender, and you don’t “look” non-binary. Assuming one’s gender simply based off appearance is offensive and perpetuates harmful stereotypes and transphobic rhetoric.

Disclosing your pronouns, whether it be in an email signature or your Instagram bio, helps normalise discussions about gender, especially for the trans and non-binary communities.

Because members of the non-binary and trans communities are often misgendered, it’s important for them to disclose their pronouns so they feel safe participating in discourse.

But doing this doesn’t and shouldn’t stop with the trans and non-binary communities.

Pronouns are an important move towards inclusivity: they allow everyone to feel safe in expressing themselves, it helps you avoid getting someone’s gender wrong, and it reduces the burden on our trans and non-binary friends so they don’t have to continuously explain their identity.

If you consider yourself an ally to the LGBTQIA* community, using your pronouns is a small move to you, but a big one that means the world to us. And when you do so, not only are you encouraging your cisgender friends to the same, but it’s a way to show members of the LGBTQIA* community that you care about their identity. It’s a badge of pride.

We as the LGBTQIA* community can only do so much when it comes to normalizing things like pronouns. And whether you’re a part of the community or not, I encourage you to put your pronouns wherever possible. With your help, we bridge the gap and open the conversation to pronouns and trans rights.

How It’s A Sin Is Opening People’s Eyes To The Stigma Around HIV/AIDS

I was recently recommended to watch a show called It’s A Sin, and I binged the entire thing within five hours.

If you haven’t heard of it before, It’s A Sin is a five-episode miniseries which follows a group of gay men who move to London in 1981, but the fast-developing HIV/AIDS epidemic in the United Kingdom impacts their lives.

I believe everyone can take a lesson or two away from this show: whether you’re straight, gay, lesbian, doesn’t matter. Chances are, you may not know as much about the HIV/AIDS epidemic as much as you think you do.

And before you keep reading, this isn’t a review or a recap. In fact, this post won’t contain any spoilers at all — because I think everyone can benefit from watching this show, and my writing can’t do the show justice.

Instead, the show highlights an important lesson many of the viewers take away with them when they finish watching.

This lesson is one of the most important ones many LGBT activists are still fighting to end: stop making assumptions or judging those who are living with HIV/AIDS.

Many people today still make others feel ashamed for living with HIV — roughly one in eight people who are diagnosed with HIV are denied health services due to the stigma around it.

While the stigma today isn’t the same as it was during the time period in It’s A Sin, we can’t pretend everyone is welcoming those who do have it with open arms. Because after all, that isn’t the truth. If I told you I have HIV, which I don’t, how would you react? Would you be confused, angry, disgusted, and stop being my friend? or would you be empathetic, caring, and understanding?

The human brain likes to tell ourselves we would be empathetic and understanding. But you won’t know the true answer until you’re put in that situation yourself.

“Whenever AIDS has won, stigma, shame, distrust, discrimination and apathy was on its side. Every time AIDS has been defeated, it has been because of trust, openness, dialogue between individuals and communities, family support, human solidarity, and the human perseverance to find new paths and solutions.”

Michel Sidibé, Executive Director of UNAIDS

During the 1980’s, the time period in which It’s A Sin is set in, almost nobody knew anything about HIV/AIDS (at the time it was called the “gay flu”) and how it was transmitted. This meant people were afraid of those who were sick and would avoid them like the plague. And when people would die of eventual AIDS, their family would say they died of pneumonia or cancer.

The fear people have against those who are living with HIV/AIDS also means that a lot of people falsely believe that:

• HIV/AIDS is a death sentence: while there was no cure or treatment for HIV/AIDS in the 1980’s, many people who are diagnosed with HIV today go on to live normal life expectancies, just like you and I. And those who take their medication prescribed daily, will eventually get an undetectable viral load, meaning they will not be able to transmit HIV to an HIV-negative person.
• HIV is only transmitted through sex: incorrect. HIV can be transmitted in various ways, by coming into direct contact with certain body fluids: blood, semen, rectal or vaginal fluids, and breast milk. For transmission to actually happen, these fluids must enter an HIV-negative person’s body through the rectum, vagina, mouth, tip of the penis, open cuts or sores, or by direct injection (needles).
• HIV is the result of personal irresponsibility or moral fault: many people who are living with HIV aren’t aware they have it. Approximately 1.4 million people in the U.S. are living with HIV, and 14 per cent aren’t aware of it. To save you the math, that’s 196,000 people who are unknowingly transmitting HIV to other people. So, no, HIV isn’t the result of irresponsibility. An HIV diagnosis doesn’t make someone dirty or irresponsible. You don’t know until you get tested.

In It’s A Sin, the stigma around HIV/AIDS is heartbreaking to watch — because it’s difficult to put yourself in those shoes. But it opens up a conversation more of us need to be having. And while it’s a cliché, don’t judge a book by its cover. You never know what someone who is living with HIV/AIDS may be going through.

Leave your ignorance at the door. It isn’t welcome in 2021.

To learn more about the HIV/AIDS stigma, click here.

To donate to AIDS United, click here.

To watch It’s A Sin on Prime Video (for my fellow Canadians), click here.

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 13 Episode 7: A Recap

Disclaimer: This post discusses spoilers from RuPaul’s Drag Race season 13 episode 7. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

Last week on RuPaul’s Drag Race, we said goodbye to our queen Tamisha Iman, who lost a lip sync for your life to Kandy Muse, who is feeling some guilt for sending Tamisha home after they were starting to rekindle their friendship. Olivia, on the other hand, is feeling totally ecstatic after her win, and Elliott is still having a difficult time making friends.

Nonetheless, it’s a day in the werkroom, and we still have so many queens left. And it’s episode 7. This is getting a little out of hand.

For this week’s mini challenge, the library is officially open, and the queens are reading each other.

Rosé, Denali, Gottmik, and Symone are natural readers. Meanwhile, Olivia, Elliott with 2 Ts, and Kandy are flops (to put it nicely). Gottmik is declared the winner of this week’s mini challenge.

For this week’s maxi challenge, the queens are working in groups to appear on Bossy Rossy: After Dark, hosted by none other than Ross Mathews (what a surprise!) — RuPaul will be assigning the groups at random.

The groups are Symone and Kandy, appearing in Tiffany Gibson & Lil’ Deb Deb: Where Are They Now?, Denali, Rosé, and LaLa Ri, appearing in I’m Pregnant With My Imaginary Boyfriend’s Baby, Gottmik, Utica, and Olivia, appearing in Breaking My Silence: Escaping the Cult of Mimeology, and Tina and Elliott with 2 Ts, appearing in My Best Friend’s 600-Pound Ass is Killing our Friendship!

This week’s maxi challenge is purely improv, meaning no scripts and no rehearsal. The queens will need to feed off each other’s energy in order to shine this week. As someone who did drama and musical theatre actively in high school, improv isn’t easy, so it’s always interesting to see how the queens interpret their characters with little to no guidance. And when you tell drag queens of all people to do improv, it can either go really well, or it can go completely south because both queens are trying to be large and in charge.

In the actual challenge, Denali and Rosé’s loud pregnant ladies overshine LaLa Ri’s shy doctor, Olivia kills it as Cheryl the mime while Utica falls flat, Kandy and Symone’s characters are fairly low energy, but they’re still delivering a solid performance, and Tina and Elliott? We’re not going to talk about it. I hated it, I want to forget it, I want it erased from my memory.

While the queens get ready in the werkroom, Symone is feeling nervous about her and Kandy’s performance because their characters were out of their comfort zones. We also learn Symone’s brother committed armed robbery when she was younger, which had a huge impact on her relationship with her mother. Elliott and Tina think they did “amazing,” which is delusion central. However, Elliott reveals to Tina she suffers from pretty severe clinical depression, which draws them closer together. Let it be known to not make judgements on someone’s character before you learn their story first. Okurrrrr?

On the mainstage, RuPaul is joined by judges Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, and this week’s extra-special guest judge, LGBT activist TS Madison.

On the runway, category is: Bead It. Denali is a jaw-dropping chandelier, Rosé looks like a neon Tinkerbell, LaLa Ri went with a revealing two-piece with bouncy hair, Gottmik is wearing a 60s mod dress with huge red anal beads on her head, Olivia looks like a big sixth grader, Utica went with a bloody bride who murdered her husband look, Kandy is finally giving us high-fashion (but she’s walking down the runway at 2 miles per hour), Symone went with a Glamazon-African warrior look, Tina finally ditched the classic red/yellow/orange colour scheme (aside from her wig, yawn), and Elliott is serving in a 1920’s flapper dress.

The safe queens this week are Rosé, Denali, Gottmik, and Tina. The tops and bottoms are LaLa Ri, Olivia, Utica, Kandy, Symone, and Elliott with 2 Ts. In terms of critiques, LaLa Ri faded into the background, Olivia took a risk and did great, the judges got lost in Utica’s confusing performance, Kandy hit all the right spots, Symone also played her role well, and Elliott with 2 Ts completely missed the mark.

After the judges deliberations, the rankings this week are as follows:

Olivia Lux: WINNER

Symone: HIGH

Kandy Muse: HIGH

Utica Queen: LOW

LaLa Ri: BOTTOM 2

Elliott with 2 Ts: BOTTOM 2

That means Elliott with 2 Ts and LaLa Ri face off in a lip sync for your life to “Whole Lotta Woman” by Kelly Clarkson. Both queens are very talented dancers, so this was an absolute serve. While this could have totally been a double shantay, we are unfortunately saying goodbye to our queen LaLa Ri. While I’m sad to see LaLa go, I would have been pissed if this was a double shantay — I can’t handle an extra episode this season.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Do you think LaLa Ri deserved to be the queen to sashay away? Let me know in the comments below!

Ta-ta for now!

x

RuPaul’s Drag Race UK Season 2 Episode 5 Recap: RuRuvision Realness

Disclaimer: This post discusses spoilers from RuPaul’s Drag Race UK season 2, episode 5. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

Last week on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK, we said goodbye to our queen Ginny Lemon.. or did she say goodbye to us?

Who knows. But we do know some of the queens, including Lawrence Chaney, think it was disrespectful of Ginny to tap out instead of facing off against Sister Sister. A few of the other queens as well, including A’Whora and Tayce, think Veronica Green should’ve been in the bottom instead of Ginny. What did you think of last week’s elimination? Did you think it was disrespectful of Ginny to walk out? Do you think Veronica should’ve been in the bottom instead?

When the queens walk back into the werkroom after Ginny’s elimination, they gather on the couch before they’re interrupted by a blatant police siren coming from the TV, where RuPaul usually says a clever sentence or two about the maxi challenge before entering the room. However, the TV never goes off after an elimination — it’s usually the next day once the queens have de-dragged and rested up.

When the queens approach the TV, RuPaul lets the queens know that, ” due to the rapidly changing coronavirus situation, we must cease filming immediately.” I don’t know about you, but I’m gagged, the queens are gagged, I’m gooped, the queens are gooped, and I’m experiencing every other word that starts with the letter G. RuPaul tells the queens to “sashay away,” and we can assume the queens left the show until it was safe to return.

But of course, we’re obviously still getting an episode this week. Seven months later (literally), each queen walks back into the werkroom (as boys, unfortunately. I would have loved to see them do some epic entrance looks again!) and they all reunite happily ever after.

But, girl.. if you thought that was the only gag this episode, you’d be extremely wrong.

Once RuPaul finally greets the queens in the werkroom after a seven month hiatus, he lets them know that Veronica Green has tested positive for COVID-19, and she will not be joining the queens for the rest of the season (remember that these episodes are filmed months in advance, so Veronica is doing just fine now!)

It’s unfortunate Veronica’s journey had to end this way, because she was a sickening queen who knew how to bring it to the runway. She also delivered a killer performance in Rats: The Rusical, so at least we still have that, right?

Nonetheless, RuPaul mentions Veronica has an open invitation to return to the show next season. Thank god!

But if you thought that was the only gag AGAIN? Girl, there are so many twists this season, I can’t keep up. My mind is still trying to process Ginny Lemon walking out last week.

To start this week’s episode, the “Brit Crew” enters the room dressed as three animals: a dog, a cow, and an elephant. But little do the queens know, they take their heads off to reveal three of the eliminated queens underneath: Joe Black, Cherry Valentine, and Asttina Mandella. We also learn that Ginny Lemon has not been invited back because she quit. Basically, if she had lip synced and still lost, she would’ve had a chance at coming back — yikes.

Ru lets the queens know one of the eliminated queens will be returning to the show, and the decision will be made by them. The eliminated queens also state their case on why they think they should come back. Joe Black receives five votes, Asttina receives two votes, and Cherry Valentine doesn’t receive any votes.

I am BEYOND thrilled to see Joe Black back in the competition. I was so devastated to see her sashay away in episode one, because she did not deserve to be in the bottom. This season is finally looking up again.

For this week’s maxi challenge, the queens will be representing the United Kingdom in the first ever RuRuvision song contest, which is a play on the Eurovision song contest, an international song competition organised annually by the European Broadcasting Union. Working in two groups, the queens will need to write their own lyrics, create a hot Euro-pop look, and come up with their own choreography. Joe Black and Lawrence Chaney are team captains. Joe chooses Sister Sister, Tia Kofi, and Ellie Diamond, who are team “BananaDrama,” while Lawrence chooses Tayce, A’Whora, and Bimini Bon-Boulash, who are team “United Kingdolls.”

MNEK is coaching the girls when they go to record their verses. Joe Black is struggling hard to try and pronounce ci-gar how MNEK wants her to, but let’s hope she gets it in the actual performance. Based on the edit, everyone else on team BananaDrama seems to be doing well, but it can always go south in the actual performance. On team United Kingdolls, A’Whora takes the extreme sex route because she can’t sing, and it’s.. weirdly amazing? Bimini and Tayce do very well, and Lawrence, to no surprise, is struggling. However, she did fine in Rats: The Rusical, so I’m not as worried for her.

When it comes time to choreograph the dances, team BananaDrama has some tension because Joe Black needs simple choreography, but Ellie Diamond wants to raise the bar to impress the judges. Tia mentions it’s best if the choreography is simple and camp so the entire team can keep up with each other instead of someone falling behind. However, if the choreography is too simple, it can end up backfiring. The United Kingdolls seem to be on the right track, aside from Lawrence Chaney, who is nervous (but she’ll probably end up doing just fine, let’s be real).

On the main stage, RuPaul is joined by judges Michelle Visage, Graham Norton, and this week’s extra-special guest judge, MNEK, a British recording artist, who is known for his songs “Never Forget You,” “Colour,” and “At Night.”

In the actual performances, the United Kingdolls do very well, and I’m genuinely surprised. Their entire performance is HILARIOUS and full of energy. And I’m not the only one who’s living — the judges can’t get enough of them! However, when it comes to team BananaDrama, the judges do not look pleased. Their performance lacks energy, the outfits aren’t good, the choreography is basic, and the verses aren’t anything special.

On the runway, category is: A Day at the Seaside. Bimini Bon-Boulash went with a beautiful baby blue lace dress with a matching parasol, Tayce is wearing a dress made of net with sea shells attached to it, A’Whora is dressed as fish and chips (literally), Lawrence Chaney went with a campy orange dress inspired by a lifebuoy, Ellie Diamond looks exactly like a seagull, Tia Kofi is a (very simple) vanilla soft serve cone with a cherry on top of her head, Sister Sister also went with a fish and chips look, and Joe Black went with a campy, 3D “stuck in the wind” look.

The winning group of the week, to no surprise, is the United Kingdolls. And since this is a team victory, each queen will be receiving a coveted RuPeter badge. They leave the stage while the judges critique team BananaDrama.

To sum up this week’s critiques, I give you this quote from RuPaul: “I don’t wanna see any fucking H&M.”

To put it in simple terms, the judges were not happy with team BananaDrama. They received very few positive critiques, and unlike earlier in the episode, things are not looking up for any of them.

This week, the rankings for the losing group are as follows:

Ellie Diamond: SAFE

Sister Sister: LOW

Tia Kofi: BOTTOM 2

Joe Black: BOTTOM 2

Joe Black and Tia Kofi face off in a lip sync for your life to “Don’t Leave Me This Way” by The Communards. Tia’s performance, unlike her performance in the group, is full of energy, and the judges are living for it. Joe, on the other hand, is disappearing into the dark with her campy, old school performance.

Tia Kofi is declared the winner of this week’s lip sync, meaning we are unfortunately saying goodbye to our queen Joe Black (again). However, I think Joe deserved to be in the bottom this time around, so at least she was reasonably sent home, unlike her elimination in episode one.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Let me know in the comments below!

Ta-ta for now!

x

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 13 Episode 6: A Recap

Disclaimer: This post discusses spoilers from RuPaul’s Drag Race season 13 episode 6, including who goes home this week. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

Last week on RuPaul’s Drag Race, we said goodbye to our queen Joey Jay, who was defeated in a killer lip sync performance by LaLa Ri to Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy.” What did you think of last week’s lip sync?

This week, there’s still some unfinished drama between Tamisha and Kandy from last week’s Untucked. To Elliott, what’s more important to her is what they’re going to eat for dinner. Same, Elliott, same.

I don’t want to spoil too much if you missed last week’s episode of Untucked, because it was honestly so iconic that you need to watch it yourself. Here’s what went down:

For this week’s mini challenge, the queens have to work in pairs to create eye-popping designer dresses out of wallpaper provided by Spoonflower. We also find out that the queens have to pick their pairs wisely, because their partner in this week’s mini challenge will also be their partner in the maxi challenge.

The queens have 30 minutes to create a dress, beat their face, put on a wig, the whole sha-bang. It’s always a joy to see some of the queens in quick drag, because some still look gorg, while others look a little questionable. Since Gottmik was the winner of last week’s maxi challenge, she gets to choose which duo she wants to join. To no surprise at all, she chooses Kandy and Tina.

The other pairs are Rosé and Denali, Olivia and Utica, Symone and LaLa Ri, and Elliott and Tamisha, a.k.a the “bottom of the barrel.”

The winners of the mini challenge are Elliott with 2 Ts and Tamisha Iman. Personally, I think Gottmik’s dress was cuter, and her eye makeup was definitely on another level for only being done in 30 minutes. But, hey, the dresses are made out of damn wallpaper. It’s not easy to make wallpaper into high fashion, so they all did pretty well.

For this week’s maxi challenge, the queens will be making a dancing documentary (a “Disco-mentary”) about the beat that defined a generation of liberation — disco, baby. In order to create the perfect disco-mentary, the queens must learn choreography and ultimately embody the spirit of disco. Each team will be covering a different chapter: Tina, Kandy, and Gottmik will be covering the “Birth of Disco,” Elliott and Tamisha have “Disco and Sex,” Olivia and Utica have “Studio 54,” Denali and Rosé have “Disco Fashion,” and Symone and LaLa have “Disco Sucks.”

Right off the bat, Denali and Rosé are confident about being able to snatch a win because both of them have extensive dance backgrounds. We love a dynamic dancing duo! Kandy, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be too confident because Tina and Gottmik have “two left feet.” Kandy’s words, not mine, y’all. Don’t come for me.

In rehearsal, the queens are learning choreography from Miguel Zarate, who has worked alongside icons like Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, and Demi Lovato, to name a few. Kandy and Tina seem to be picking up the moves fairly well, but Gottmik is falling behind. LaLa and Symone seem to be doing fine, but they initially seem hesitant to go full out. We all know they’re going to end up turning it, though. Let’s be real here. Elliott and Tamisha have to use hola hoops in their performance, and Tamisha is clearly getting in her head, because a hula hoop isn’t the easiest prop to be working with. Rosé and Denali are absolutely killing it in rehearsal, and they have the hardest choreography out of all the queens. Are we surprised they’re picking up the choreography easily, and executing it flawlessly? Not at all. Utica and Olivia are using very large pieces of fabric in their performance, and while Olivia is slaying, Utica is on the Struggle Bus Express. She’s in her head, and it isn’t going to end well for her if she doesn’t break out of her shell.

The next day while the queens are getting ready, Tina, Kandy, and Gottmik seem to be more confident than in rehearsal. Good for them, but it’ll all come down to how they perform on the main stage. They’ve also officially named themselves the “Mean Girls” of the season — yikes. Not sure if that’s what you want to be known as when you leave Drag Race, but you do you, girl. We also learn that Olivia struggled with her weight growing up, and that she used to be almost 300 pounds. She’s obviously lost a lot of weight and looks amazing now, but the road to self love is a bumpy, twisty, extremely long road. Good on you for feelin’ your oats, Olivia! You look bomb as hell.

On the main stage, RuPaul is joined by judges Michelle Visage, Carson Kressley, and this week’s extra-special guest judge (again!), Loni Love.

In the performances, all the queens actually did fairly well (I didn’t think I would say that). I don’t think any queen in particular did terrible, however, my top two pairs go to Denali and Rosé, and Symone and LaLa Ri. If I had to choose two queens who did the worst, I’d give it to Utica and Tamisha. And while they weren’t terrible by any means, their performances lacked the most energy, and they were the two who had the least technical ability.

On the runway, category is “Little Black Dress.” I wasn’t a huge fan of tonight’s runway, as I feel the category is too simple for a show like Drag Race. Tina wore a paint-splattered white jumpsuit which she revealed into a black mini dress with flame detailings. If Tina doesn’t wear a different colour scheme other than red, orange, and yellow, I think I’m actually going to lose my mind. Kandy has a dress made out of canvas paper with a painted on black dress, Gottmik is going full nude with a teeny tiny black dress covering her you-know-what, Elliott is wearing an off the shoulder black mini dress with a black cape which she takes off, Tamisha has a simple black mini dress with black stockings, Olivia went with a sparkly black mini dress with matching sparkly tights, Utica took inspiration from Audrey Hepburn in a black leather dress with gold tights, Denali is serving us black widow spider realness, Rosé took a campy but fashionable approach by covering the outline of her black dress in grey tulle, LaLa went with a simple black dress with silver detailing along the neckline, and Symone completely served in a black two-piece and an iconic braided blonde ponytail.

Here’s where the gag of the episode comes in: the safe queens this week are Gottmik, Denali, Rosé, LaLa Ri, and Symone.

Um, excuse me? What fresh hell is this? Denali, Rosé, LaLa, and Symone being declared as safe is literally a hate crime. We all know RuPaul often makes CHOICES on the show, and girl, this was an absolute choice.

Meaning that the tops and bottoms of the week are Tina, Kandy, Elliott, Tamisha, Olivia, and Utica. If you ask me, half of these should have been safe. But, hey, that’s just my opinion. The judges critique the queens, and it’s clear Utica, Kandy, and Tamisha are walking on thin ice. Olivia and Elliott received positive critiques, and Elliott was complimented on her dance abilities. RuPaul also stressed the fact that, if you have kids, PUT THEM IN DANCE CLASSES. Seriously. Just do it.

After the judges deliberate, the rankings this week are as follows:

Olivia Lux: WINNER

Tina Burner: HIGH

Elliott with 2 Ts: SAFE

Utica Queen: LOW

Kandy Muse: BOTTOM 2

Tamisha Iman: BOTTOM 2

Girl, Tamisha and Kandy being in the bottom together? A GAG. Last week, they practically came for each other’s throats in Untucked. And now, they’re lip syncing against each other? I’m living, but I’m dying at the same time. They face off to “Hit ‘Em Up Style” by Blu Cantrell. Tamisha is giving an old school drag performance, while Kandy is taking a completely opposite approach to the song, giving us both comedy and bad bitch vibes.

Kandy Muse is declared the winner of the lip sync, meaning we are unfortunately saying goodbye to our queen Tamisha Iman. I give her props for competing at 49, because it’s not a common age for the contestants. Let’s also appreciate the fact that right before she came to the show, she beat stage 3 colon cancer, and has been living with an ostomy bag since. In my opinion, being able to still perform in drag after everything she’s been through is even better than winning the actual crown. We love you, Tamisha, and we’ll miss your iconic one-liners!

What did you think of this week’s episode? Did you expect Tamisha to go home?

Ta-ta for now!

x

RuPaul’s Drag Race UK Season 2 Episode 4: A Recap

Disclaimer: This post discusses spoilers from RuPaul’s Drag Race UK season 2 episode 4. If you haven’t seen today’s episode yet, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Haven’t seen it yet? watch the latest episode on OUTtvGo here.

Last week on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK, we said goodbye to our queen Asttina Mandella, who lost her lip sync to the “Baroness Basic,” Tia Kofi. If you ask me, I think Tia Kofi should have gone home. And while ultimately RuPaul is the one who makes the final decision, Asttina’s drag is more polished than Tia’s, and Tia’s runways this season (so far) have been.. questionable.

9 queens remain.

The next day in the werkroom, there’s clear tension between the queens on who should’ve gone home last week. Tayce and A’Whora think it wasn’t Asttina’s time and Tayce calls Tia basic, while Veronica Green thinks she stepped up in the lip sync and deserves to still be in the competition. Do you think Tia Kofi should’ve won in the lip sync against Asttina?

For this week’s mini challenge, the queens need to sell baked goods in the “Great British Fake Off.” But what’s fake about it? Are the baked goods fake? Is their enthusiasm fake? Are they supposed to fake an orgasm because they love baked goods so much? I’m not sure, and we may never know. But we do know one thing — the Brit Crew is there, and I don’t know if I’m drooling over the body or the desserts on the table.

As usual in a comedy challenge, some of the queens did good, and some of the queens did.. not so good. The winner of the mini challenge is Bimini Bon-boulash, who turned her Belgian Bun into a Brexit Bun — “It’s 52 percent deceit, 48 percent despair, and 100 percent not going to positively affect anyone other than Steve Dave and Paul down the pub.” 

For this week’s maxi challenge, the queens must work in pairs as daytime talk show hosts in RuPaul’s Morning Glory. If you don’t know what Morning Glory is (skip reading if you really don’t want to know), it’s British slang for the erection a man gets while still hitting the snooze button. Some also say that the erection comes from a full bladder.

Anyway.. that’s enough history lesson for today.

Since Bimini won the mini challenge, she gets first dibs. She chooses to team up with Tayce, who was once in a TJ Maxx ad, to be the hosts of the show. Ellie and Lawrence are the advice columnists, Ginny Lemon is our hippie weather girl, and Tia and A’Whora, despite A’Whora initially not being very fond of Tia, take on the roles of Essex Girls (the “money saving experts”), while Veronica Green and Sister Sister choose to be goth party planners. Assuming the queens are going to be judged in pairs, things don’t seem to be looking up for Veronica Green and Sister Sister, as both of them aren’t necessarily “goths” or “comedy queens.”

As Ru makes her way around the werkroom, there is a tense moment when she approaches Lawrence Chaney and Ellie Diamond, the two Scottish queens of the season, and says, “Lawrence Chaney” in her fake brogue (if you’ve been watching the episodes, you know what I mean), but says “Ellie Diamond” just like she might say “hot dog.” Ellie asks Ru why she doesn’t say her name like Lawrence’s, since they’re both Scottish. The queens in the werkroom are gagged, because typically queens don’t throw shade to Ru (we all remember what happened with Pearl in season 7).

However, I don’t think Ellie’s being shady here — it doesn’t seem like her brand to do so. In my opinion, she seemed genuinely confused as to why Ru wouldn’t treat the Scottish queens the same. It didn’t come off as curiosity though, because Ru’s a little bit taken aback — and we all know Mama Ru doesn’t like being confronted or told what to do.

During taping, the queens are coached by Lorraine Kelly, the “Beyoncé of morning talk shows” (according to Tayce), a Scottish TV presenter who has been the host of various shows in the United Kingdom such as Good Morning Britain, This Morning, Daybreak, and Lorraine (like the Ellen DeGeneres show, but the U.K. version)

Tayce and Bimini do very well as the hosts, who are club kids trying to read the news off the teleprompter. Lawrence and Ellie Diamond, to no surprise at all, also do well playing the “agony aunts,” a British slang term for advice columnists. Lawrence hilariously leaves the set on a mini tricycle, breaking it in the process. I don’t know about you, but I am absolutely living for Lawrence’s comedy. It sends me through the roof every time.

Tia and A’Whora, playing the money-saving Essex Girls, shine as their obnoxious characters (“One-hundred per cent, Essex!”). To give a little background on the characters, Essex is a county outside London, and its women are known for their big hair, messy makeup, flashy and revealing outfits, and most of all, trashy (yet hilarious) accents. Basically, think New Jersey, but the United Kingdom version. As the money-saving experts, they show us how to save money by doing a “gravazzle” — a vajazzle (glitter pubes) using gravel. It was so stupid, but so funny at the same time, and they completely embodied the stereotypical personalities of Essex women.

Veronica and Sister Sister, on the other hand, are very, very bad. However, I don’t blame them — how can you make goth characters bigger, or funnier?

Ginny Lemon takes an interesting approach to her role as the hippie weather girl. I don’t even know what to say about it. I’m just as confused as the other queens are.

On the main stage, RuPaul is joined by Michelle Visage, Alan Carr, and this week’s extra-special guest judge, Lorraine Kelly.

This week on the runway, category is “Monster Mashup,” which is two monsters in one look. I don’t know about you, but that runway seems pretty clear, right? Well, to some of the queens, they definitely didn’t get the memo.

Veronica Green absolutely kills it, combining Medusa, a prosthetic pig face, snakes on her head, and a snakeskin one-shoulder dress. Sister Sister combines a mummy and a werewolf with blue fur, Bimini Bon-boulash combines a playboy bunny and the Devil, saying “this is what Pamela Anderson would look like in hell.” Tayce is serving us high fashion as a vampire bride of Frankenstein, but the only thing that screams “vampire” about her look is her vampire teeth. When her mouth is closed, she just looks like a normal bride. Ginny Lemon is giving us a play on “toxic lemon,” wearing a neon green dress covered in radioactive symbols. Lawrence Chaney is taking a spin on four characters: Sweeney Todd, Buffalo Bill, Bride of Frankenstein, and Leatherface. While her outfit (and mask of her own face!) are gag-worthy, the category is a two-in-one, not 14-in-one. Ellie Diamond has a goblin face on a werewolf’s body with green skin, Tia Kofi is some sort of death demon with snakes coming out of her headdress, A’Whora looks stunning in her interpretation of a Bob Mackie Cher Barbie doll, and takes her wig off at the end of the runway to reveal her brains. She says she’s looking, “very Halloween,” but that was not the brief. The brief was “monster mash up.” 

So, technically speaking, the only queens who did the runway correctly were Veronica Green, Ellie Diamond, and Lawrence Chaney (kind of). Yikes.

The “top and bottom” queens of the week are Veronica Green, Sister Sister, Bimini Bon-boulash, Ginny Lemon, Lawrence Chaney, and A’Whora.

Meaning that Tayce, Ellie Diamond, and Tia Kofi are declared the “safe” queens of the week, and leave the stage while the judges critique the top and bottom queens.

The judges critiques this week are as follows:

Veronica Green received praise for her creative look, but was clocked for being too in her head. She takes the blame, and says it wasn’t Ellie’s fault for doing poorly, but her own, and that she didn’t mean to drag her down with her. Ellie’s look reminded them of Sonic the Hedgehog bursting through a bunch of bandages instead of a werewolf, while Bimini received praise for never breaking character and flawlessly reading off the teleprompter. However, on the runway, she was clocked for missing small details like fixing up her messy hair, and not wearing any lashes. Ginny Lemon’s weather girl was “one note” the whole time, and she went too far away from the character. They ask her why her heels are often not “high” heels, and she mentions that before coming to the show, she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Lawrence Chaney receives positive critiques left and right (not surprising), and A’Whora’s authentic take on an Essex girl came across very well. However, they mentioned if she hadn’t removed her wig, her runway would have been a complete miss.

The rankings this week are as follows:

Lawrence Chaney: WINNER

A’Whora: HIGH

Bimini Bon-boulash: HIGH

Veronica Green: LOW

Ginny Lemon: BOTTOM 2

Sister Sister: BOTTOM 2

Ultimately, Ginny and Sister face off in a lip sync for your life to “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” by Kim Wilde. But the gag here is, Ginny didn’t lip sync. What she did do was, right when the song started, walk off the stage. She left the building. Gone. And according to Tayce, she “BenDeLaCreme’d herself.” So, Sister Sister is left to lip sync by herself on stage in a solo performance, and she is absolutely killing it — she isn’t even phased by the fact that Ginny Lemon simply gave up.

Obviously, Sister Sister is the winner of this week’s lip sync, and Ginny Lemon is weirdly enthusiastic about going home.

What did you think of this week’s episode? And what did you think of Ginny Lemon walking off stage instead of lip syncing?

Ta-ta for now!

x

My Top 5 Body Products for Gay Men

As gay men, we’re pretty well known for caring for our hair, body and face – like, a lot. BTW, if you got that hair, body, face reference, I love you. But that’s beside the point here. According to Othervox, which specialises in digital advertising across the world’s most popular LGBTQ channels, gay men spend 32 per cent more on toiletries and grooming products than the average consumer (non-LGBTQ). 

Crazy, right? It might seem crazy to you if you aren’t a gay man, but if you are a gay man, it probably seems reasonable and fair. I don’t know about any of you, but I can confidently say as a gay man I do spend more than I would like to admit on toiletries. 

Like, seriously. You probably don’t want to see my bank statements. 

Nonetheless, over my many, many years of testing various body products (which include a few allergic reactions – ouch!) I’ve acquired a list of products I absolutely adore and love to use on my body to make sure I’m soft and supple. 

Before you continue reading, please remember these are the products that work for me. This list should not be taken as professional advice, and what works for me may not work for you. 

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s start this list! 

1. NIVEA Men Sensitive Skin Shaving Cream

If you’re like me and have sensitive skin and are prone to the WORST razor bumps, this is the bad boy for you. This shaving cream features chamomile to soothe dry skin and contains no drying alcohol. This one does contain fragrance, but since you don’t leave shaving cream on your skin for very long, it shouldn’t be an issue for you because it’s never been one for me. 

2. Bulldog Bamboo Razor

This razor (and brand) have been my favourite for about three years now. The bamboo razor is my favourite product for the Bulldog brand because it provides such a smooth shave and does not tug on my hair or skin. I love it! 

3. Spin for Perfect Skin – Complete Face & Body Cleansing System

I love this brush set because it comes with various attachments! I use the body attachment the most and it’s been so great for keeping my skin smooth and bump-free. Plus, it’s on sale right for $45.99 instead of $109.99! 

4. Frank Body Original Coffee Scrub

This coffee scrub from Frank Body not only smells like the best cup of coffee ever, it makes your skin SO soft. It works on breakouts, scars, cellulite and stretch marks with a blend of coffee, vitamin E, and antioxidant-rich oils. Sounds amazing, right? I love it and I know you will too. 

5. Have you seen my underwear? Booty oil 

Sorry, not sorry for all the booty products. Trust me – this one’s worth it. This booty oil is my absolute fav for after a shower. It’s infused with arabica coffee bean and watermelon oil to make your booty smooth AND smell nice! Anese is one of my favourite body-care brands aside from Frank Body. 

Those are just a few of my favourite body products that keep me smooth, soft, and glowing! If you want to see a part two of even more products, I’d be happy to do so.

Let me know in the comments: do you also splurge on toiletries/grooming products? 

Thanks for reading, see you next week! 

5 Benefits of Using Sex Toys

Sex toys are defined as an object used to provide or increase sexual pleasure, such as a dildo or a vibrator.

For some people, maybe that’s a cucumber. Or a carrot. But, please don’t put produce inside of you. Just don’t.

However, due to the stigma around sex toys, they can have a bed rep sometimes. Some people might think it’s weird to use a sex toy on your own, or some people in a relationship might not be ready to explore that side of things just yet. Or, some people just might not know enough about them to consider buying them.

So, for your convenience, I’ve compiled a list of the top five reasons you should be including a sex toy in your sex life, whether it be for yourself, or to spice up your relationship.

1. Better Sexual Performance

If you’re using a sex toy in bed with your partner, they can greatly increase the pleasure you experience. If you’re gay, vibrating anal beads or vibrating dildos can work really well. While I’m sure your sex life is already probably great, you and your partner will find the vibration sensations to be surprisingly really awesome.

2. Faster Orgasms

If you’re the type of person who wants sex to be over as quick as possible, you might be wanting you or your partner to have faster orgasms. Or, you might not be happy with the amount of time it takes for your partner to orgasm. Both of these can be solved by using sex toys – yes, really!

According to certified sexuality counselor and clinical sexologist (I didn’t even know this was a real job) Dr. Dawn Michael, sex toys like a penis ring or a prostate vibrator can easily make you orgasm much faster, which will not only help you feel better about yourself if you’re concerned about how long it takes for you to orgasm, your partner will appreciate it too.

3. Sexual and body awareness (and confidence!)

Let’s be honest, using a sex toy will make you more sexually aware, but it will make you more aware of your body, what you like and don’t like, and increase your confidence. I can say this from experience, because using sex toys has made me WAY more confident, and I’m very proud to admit that.

Using sex toys will also make you more aware of your erogenous zones. These are parts of your body that have heightened sensitivity, and stimulating them results in pleasure. In men, these erogenous zones are mainly the ears, neck, scrotum, nipples, and perineum (the ridge between the scrotum and the anus,) but some people can have different erogenous zones on their body, and that’s why it’s up to you to find them.

Obviously I’m not saying to put a vibrating dildo inside of your ear because it’s an erogenous zone, but what I am saying is investing in a vibrating sex toy and figuring out what parts of your body have the highest and lowest sensitivity will benefit you in the long run.

4. May help erectile dysfunction

If you have erectile dysfunction, don’t let it get you down. It can be heavy on your confidence and make you embarrassed when you go to have sex, but sex toys have even been proven to help with this as well.

And, no, erectile dysfunction doesn’t just apply to men who are 40 and up. Erectile dysfunction can be a side effect of many blood pressure medications and antidepressants, so don’t think you’re “too young” to have it even if you do.

Some of the things that can help you are ED rings, placed around the base of the penis to slow the flow of blood back from your penis to help maintain an erection. But if this doesn’t work for you, you could also look into specially-designed male vibrators that can help gain an erection and stimulate your nerve endings. But since I’m not a doctor, I can’t recommend anything because I’m not an expert in male sexual health.

If you want recommendations for erectile dysfunction, do NOT be afraid to bring up the idea of vibrators to your doctor. Trust me, they’ve seen and heard it all.

5. Improves relationships

If you feel like your relationship is missing that extra something but you can’t quite put your finger on it, the answer is likely a sex toy. For example, for gay men, your partner could use a vibrating penis ring while they’re inside of you, and they could use an anal toy inside of them at the same time, so everyone is stimulated and it’s one big happy stimulation party.

However, some people also tend to think if you have a sex toy, why are you in a relationship then? The thing is, if you’re already enjoying the sex without sex toys, using sex toys only enhances the pleasure. They aren’t going to take away from your partner. Sex toys mix things up in your relationship and keep things interesting – whether you’re into handcuffs, being tied up, or vibrators. There are SO many options for the both of you.

Besides, I really don’t think a sex toy can do much besides provide a few minutes of temporary pleasure. You can’t really compare an inanimate object to a real human being. Let your sex toys provide the extra pleasure you didn’t know you needed.

Now you’re ready to go out into the world and buy some sex toys! Some of my favourite sex toy stores in Canada are Adam & Eve, Lovehoney, and PinkCherry. They all have a wide array of options and price points for any budget, so I don’t want to hear any excuses about how you can’t afford them. You can!

Again, as I mentioned previously, don’t be afraid to just look at dildos and vibrators. Look at as much stuff as you can and READ REVIEWS. There might even be something better than dildos and vibrators you might be interested in, you never know until you try!

Thanks for reading, and see you next week. 🙂

10 Things To Never Say To A Gay Person

About 5% of people in Canada are gay – which equals out to be about 1.8 million people. So, you’d think by now people know how to act appropriately around gay people. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case and oftentimes gay people are put in awkward situations when straight people don’t know their boundaries. Here are 10 things you should never say to a gay person:

1. How did you decide you were gay?

This one ticks a lot of people off because, to put it shortly, being gay isn’t a choice. Trust me, if it was a choice, do you think I would choose to love men? I can barely stand them.

I didn’t wake up one day on a beautiful sunny morning and think to myself, “I think I’m gonna be gay today.” That’s not how it works. Accepting yourself for who you are is a long and difficult process depending on your situation with family, friends, etc.

2. Are you a top or a bottom?

This one doesn’t need much of an explanation because it’s simply rude. Asking a gay person if they’re a top or bottom is the same thing as going up to a straight person and saying, “What’s your favourite sex position?” and if you do ask these questions out of the blue, what are you doing? Unless you’re on a best-friend basis with them, keep this one to yourself.

3. How does (xyz) not know you’re gay? You’re like a walking rainbow!

You might mean this as a joke or maybe even a compliment, but it doesn’t come off that way. Not everyone has a loving and accepting family like most. Just because you grew up a certain way, doesn’t mean every other gay person has the same exact relationship you had with your mom/dad. Depending on the situation it can be extremely difficult for a gay person to come out to their family, and sometimes this situation can mean choosing between living on the street or pretending to be someone else so that they have a roof over their head.

So, before assuming someone’s situation at home, don’t say this to someone.

4. Who’s the man/woman in the relationship?

Thankfully I’ve never been asked this question, but I know many people who have. The answer to this question is really quite simple: neither. The whole point of a gay relationship is that both of them are the man in the relationship. They both have penises, right? Right.

5. OMG, are you single? My other friend is gay and you guys would be perfect together!

We know you mean well by asking this question, but we don’t need you to play matchmaker for us. Just because two men are gay doesn’t mean they’re going to instantly click and get married right away. Just like any other relationship, we need to get to know each other first and see if we’re interested in each other. Sound familiar?

Oftentimes if those two gay men do end up dating and eventually break up, it makes it awkward if you’re friends with both of them.

But if you do want to introduce two gay men to each other, please do it in a more subtle way. I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it happen, but this isn’t a soap opera.

6. Can you be my GBF (gay best friend)?

Gay men are not your accessory. Point blank period. Be their best friend because your personalities go well together and you genuinely enjoy hanging out, not because you want a trophy to bring around saying, “look! I support the gays!”

7. Whoa, you’re gay? Just don’t try to have sex with me, alright?

I think this is something many delusional straight men need to hear. Not only does saying this make you sound extremely rude and obnoxious, we aren’t going to waste our precious time on chasing someone like you who isn’t even mildly interested in men when we have a plethora of gay men to choose from if we really want to have sex with someone.

8. How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never been with a girl before?

How do you know you’re straight if you’ve never been with a girl before? You can’t just assume that all gay men are confused. It’s extremely disrespectful to make us question who we choose to sleep with.

9. You should take me shopping! I bet you have an amazing sense of fashion.

Do I really wanna take you shopping? Probably not. Do I also want to follow you around to all your favourite stores and watch you try things on for hours on end? The answer is also probably not. Being your personal stylist is not a gay man’s ideal weekend outing.

How do you also know I have a sense of fashion simply because I’m gay? What if I end up having no fashion sense at all? Hire an actual stylist if you really want someone to give you clothes.

10. If you were straight, would you date me?

First of all, I don’t want to be straight, so I don’t know why you would even ask me this question. And even if I was in some other dimension, how do you know you would be my type?