How Wearing Heels Gave Me The Confidence I Didn’t Know I Needed

If you’re opening this blog post for the first time through a Google search, you’re probably expecting a girl to be writing about high heels, right? 

Wrong! 

I’m a dude who is a big flaming ball of gayness who just so happens to wear heels every so often when he’s feeling risqué. 

Listen, if I can’t afford to be a drag queen, I have to do the next best thing. 

Now, let’s get into the good stuff: if it wasn’t already clear by now, I love wearing heels and bending those dumb and stupid gender stereotypes that only girls can wear heels. 

Before I ever even considered slipping on a pair of heels, the only people who I thought could pull them off were either drag queens or actual women. And that’s where I was wrong about myself – because little did, I know, I would end up loving the hell out of wearing them. 

It all started at a drop-in dance studio here in Winnipeg. I was working part-time at the front desk where I would check people in and watch in awe as people danced in the studio next to me. As someone who has quite the lengthy background in dance, I was beyond jealous as I sat in a chair watching people live their best lives. 

But it all changed when I was working one night, and I caught myself staring at one class in particular that was going on: Sexy Street Jazz. Basically, like jazz, hip hop, and dancing in stilettos all in one. I couldn’t stop looking at the one guy in the class out of all the other girls, who was wearing six-inch stilettos. And btw – he was completely tearing up the dance floor. It was fabulous. 

My boss happened to be teaching the class that night, and after it was over, I asked her how I could start dancing in heels like that. She told me to buy this pair of open-toed “sock booties” from Call It Spring (sadly, this is not a Call It Spring partnership). 

They were almost four inches and the heel were a stiletto style, which seemed like a lot at first, but they were actually pretty comfortable! I went in the next day to the nearest Call It Spring and I bought the heels. 

And before I knew it, I was taking Sexy Street Jazz classes every single week and absolutely loving it. I had such a fun time dancing in heels I ended up performing at Pride Winnipeg 2019 alongside other heels dancers from the studio. Being able to express myself so freely in front of that many people will be a moment I cherish forever. 

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  Stage view of the audience at The Forks, Pride 2019.

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  Me, Aldin (right) holding hands with Cortney Chammartin (left) backstage at Pride 2019.

I unfortunately don’t have a video of the performance, but here’s a fun screen grab of when we performed the Pride dance at the drop-in studio’s year-end showcase:

As a gay man, I grew up being attracted to girls before I entered high school, because that’s what my family taught me. I didn’t get to truly express myself until after high school when I had access to my own money and job – and ultimately, my first pair of my heels.

Even though I had to shove my heels in the back of my closet when I wasn’t in class, I never felt more confident and like myself when I was dancing in heels. 

I always felt like I was missing something in my life that would help me with my confidence. I struggled to find what it was for quite some time. Although I don’t wear heels everywhere, I go (I’m not THAT confident yet), whenever I’m feeling low or not so confident, I’ll throw on a pair of heels and I almost instantly feel better about myself. 

Because, yes, I AM that bitch. 

Not only did I gain a new obsession for heels and a huge confidence boost, but I gained so many friends who I can go to a heels dance class with and laugh, have fun, and forget about everything else.

Half of the heels crew

I’m not telling you to buy a pair of stilettos and go to a dance class, because it’s not for everyone. If you do want to go to a dance class, I highly encourage you to do it. You will learn so much about yourself.

But what I am telling you, whether you’re a girl or a guy, is to embrace your feminine and girly side and put on some heels. 

Whether they’re a 2-inch pump or a six-inch stiletto, if wearing them makes you feel badass, who cares what other people think? And even if you just put them on for a quick photo, hey, it still made you feel good at the end of the day. And that’s awesome! 

I haven’t been to a heels class in quite some time because I dislocated my knee in August of 2019 and I’m still waiting to get surgery on it (thanks, COVID!)

However, they have made a few appearances on my Instagram, specifically this post and this one, too (feel free to follow me if you aren’t already!)

I hope you enjoyed this week’s post, and I hope it inspired you even a little bit to step out of your comfort zone the next time you go shoe shopping. 

Let me know in the comments: do you wear heels? Or are you more of a sneaker’s kind of gal? 

Cue Taylor Swift singing the lyrics from “You Belong With Me”..

..“She wears high heels, I wear sneakers.”

Anyway.. see you next week! 

Coming Out: It Ain’t Easy

Ah, coming out.

Alexa, play “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross.

Kidding. This isn’t an Amazon sponsorship (it could be if Amazon so chooses).

The dawn of age for every young gay (or “older gay,” depending on when you came out) where they officially tell their family and friends they’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.

People come out for various reasons. Either they want to start dating someone of the same gender and be able to tell other people, or they don’t want people to keep making assumptions about their sexuality.

For some people, this can be an easy task. You build up the courage, go out to the living room, sit down with your parents, shed a few tears. Best case scenario is they embrace you and tell you they still love you.

For others (and myself), not so much. Depending on your situation, there can be religious issues, or your parents can simply just have grown up a more traditional way and don’t view homosexuality as something that is “right.” Regardless, if you’re someone like me who hasn’t come out to their parents, and don’t know if you’ll ever be able to, it can be frightening to imagine the outcome if you did.

In terms of my friends, of course they know I’m gay. If you haven’t seen my Instagram, it literally screams gay; so coming out to my friends isn’t an issue. However, I didn’t officially “come out” to my friends until grade nine. Even then, I didn’t fully express my sexuality until after graduating high school. Today, I’m extremely thankful for the support I receive whenever I do something that breaks typical gender stereotypes, like wearing heels (I look AMAZING in heels btw, not to toot my own horn.)

The point of the fact is, coming out isn’t something all of us can do. Sure, it’s a rewarding thing to do, but I don’t view it as the end of the world if I don’t. My mom turned 60-years-old this year and grew up in the mountains of Croatia, so she’s extremely traditional. If I can’t change her mind, I can’t.

So, if someone you know hasn’t come out, or you’re just meeting someone and eventually find out they haven’t, don’t instantly ask them a million questions on why they haven’t. Simply put, it’s none of your business.

Thanks for reading, and see you next week. 🙂